"No se puede pagar aqui"

When we decided awhile back that we might pick up everything, abandon steady employment, and make the move to Chile, we knew there would be a number of preparations to be made.  Many of these preparations were dependent entirely upon Michael and I--- as in packing our house, putting it in storage, saving money, etc.  Honestly, even though we are only about 6 weeks out, some of these things are still kind of a work in progress--- no two people should have so much stuff (that's a story for another time).


Needless to say, the preparations that involve us being dependent on other people all surround the procurement of my "Temporary Residency Visa", which will allow me to live in Chile legally for, oh you know.. about a year.  The process has been comical to say the least.
The nearest Chilean Consulate is in Houston (not exactly a day trip), which was a point that seemed lost on the workers on our first visit, after all, our permanent address is in the same state.  Even with my limited Spanish comprehension at the time, I understood the look of disbelief when Michael said "Ocho horas".  Our first step towards anything was registering our marriage in Chile, which we were told "could take awhile", so we made an appointment and then the trip during Spring Break-- thus embarking on my first run in with Chile and her ways.
We arrived at the Consulate a little early only to find that the woman that Michael made the appointment with was on vacation, and the nice guy working the window has been on the job for all of two-ish weeks and had the stare of bewilderment to prove it.  He was very relieved to begin conversing in Spanish, and that was my cue to sit and be stared at by the portrait of  Piñera  hanging on the wall.  He's a very handsome leader-- and honestly, he is what I pictured President Snow from the Hunger Games to look like before Hollywood decided that he was actually Donald Sutherland.  Hello Mr. President, what lovely mountains you are standing in front of.  :)

During my time with the President, Michael managed to get our marriage certified and an updated Chilean passport, and then it was time to pay.  Yay!  Only, you can't pay there.  In order to pay, you had to go downstairs, which actually meant, downstairs (where there was a bank, but not the right bank), outside, across the street, past the McDonalds, to another bank. (Stay with me here) Then you pay, get receipts and walk back past the McDonalds, across the street, past the original bank, back up the elevator and hand Chile your proof of payment.  THEN, you fill out a FedEx envelope, so they can mail all of your documents back to you, because again, "this could take awhile."

When we received our marriage certificate back, it basically has an index card glued to it with a stamp from Chile, which I assume to mean "You are now married in two countries."

Everything else you need for a visa has to be done within 30 days of your application and within 90 days of entering the country, forcing you to do things on a time crunch.  FYI, as a US Citizen, I could enter Chile as a tourist with nothing but my passport, carrying whatever disease or crime history I wanted, and stay for 3 months, BUT to become a temporary resident I have to provide the following:

A copy of my passport (seems necessary).

Copies of Bank Statements proving financial security 

An FBI Background check-- As a teacher, I've be fingerprinted and extensively checked to just be certified to even enter a school.  Those fingerprints aren't good enough, so this request from the US government took every bit of 6 weeks to process and receive.

A letter from a Doctor that says I'm not carrying any communicable diseases.

A specific test that says I'm not carrying HIV.

A letter stating why I plan on coming to Chile.

A passport sized picture.

Two different applications that have 85% of the same information-- that by the way ARE NOT the application you get when you follow the website link that says "Application for Visas."

Marriage Certificate (with Chilean approval index card).

A letter from Michael that says he really does want to bring me with him.  

Documents Galore!!

Finally finished gathering everything and put it in the mail today.  Now we wait for them to call and make another appointment, travel to Houston, where I will be interviewed, and hopefully told "Have fun in our country!!", but of course it won't be complete until we walk downstairs, across the street, past the McDonalds, to the random bank and back with proof of payment.  This time instead of "Chao" to Mr. Piñera, I'll get to say "Nos vemos!!", and in my mind he'll say back, "May the odds be ever in your favor."