Being in a new country obviously comes with a certain amount of culture shock. Anyone expecting a new place to be the same as your old home is really only setting themselves up for disappointment. Part of being in a new environment is taking the good along with the bad and adjusting, adapting, becoming accustomed to ... new customs. Aside, from the obvious "shock" of a different language (although calling it a shock seems silly seeing as how one obviously KNOWS that when you move to Chile they will be speaking Spanish.. albeit a bizarre form of Spanish), and missing certain foods (I might stab a person for Rosa's), the biggest adjustment I am having to make is to accept the fact that even though geographically we are in the southern hemisphere, we are no longer in "the South."
I have lived my entire life until now in West Texas. I have done a decent amount of traveling to the different corners of the United States where people are supposedly "unfriendly", only to find that although they may not greet you with "Howdy" everywhere you go, they are not inherently rude to strangers. My experience so far in Chile has taught me that the things I grew up believing to be normal... you know... MANNERS, are not infact in existence everywhere.
NOTE: I AM NOT referring to Chileans that I have met (for instance the family and friends of family). They are very warm people. I am referring to how strangers deal with strangers and the common courtesies of society.
I know that a certain amount of anonymity exists in all big cities, mainly because it has to in order for efficiency alone, but having discussed these points with other gringos from large cities in the US, Austrailia, etc. , we all agree that in some aspects, Chile needs a charm class.
For example, the other day, I held a door for a 30-something male because he was about 6 feet behind me and it was an automatic decision to NOT let the door hit him in the face. Apparently this was a very strange action on my part because the man, instead of nodding or issuing a short "Gracias", looked at me as if I had completely insulted his masculinity and the progress of his day. HOW DARE I?? Needless to say one also should NEVER expect someone to hold the door for you, and should plan accordingly to avoid being caught in that awkward "the door is half shut" moment...
Dogs are more polite than people. No kidding (I couldn't make this up if I tried), if you are walking on a sidewalk towards a dog coming from the other direction, it has happened multiple times that the dog steps to the side to allow you to pass and then, continues on his way. People on the other hand will walk four across and glare at you when you need like 2 inches to pass on the right as if, again, you have been put on this Earth to derail their progress.
The metro/micro is where, I predict, the world will eventually shut down. It isn't even that people are so blissfully unaware, it is that they find themselves and their own agenda far more important than that of the other million or so people that also have things to do. It also makes people forget things like "you shouldn't push old people" and "you shouldn't marinate in your cologne."
In the mornings, the metro is full--- not "sigh.. no seats again", but "someone's phone is vibrating in their pocket and no one is sure who it belongs to because we are all up on eachother" full. YET!!! For some reason, there still exists this machismo "bro" syndrome where some guys can ONLY stand directly infront of where the doors will open. Most of them wear skinny jeans, scarves and blue tooth headsets... Obvio.
Permiso is the "excuse me" used when you need by. I hear permiso no less than 20 times every morning as people struggle to past scarf-bro who has deemed his stop the only important one; however, even the most polite word when paired with shoulder jabs becomes less polite. People tend to think permiso now grants them permission to do whatever they want. It is like when kids say, "but I said please..." expecting that the magic word will grant them that pet tiger they want for Christmas. When a person barrels through 10 people to get to the door of the metro when the approaching stop is the LAST ONE and EVERYONE has to get off, it makes me want to say quite forceably, "Permiso this!!" coupled with an elbow jab.
My FAVORITE public transportation moment is that moment when you are trying to get off the bus, you know, through the exit doors, and there is a mob of greedy animals trying to "sneak" on the bus without paying BEFORE they let anyone off. Folks, if you will chill for 5 seconds, THEN you can commence with your master plan to save 500 pesos, which will eventually cause the price of public transportation to rise for those of us that, well pay, and need to get OFF the bus.
Also, I find it incredibly difficult, and infact against my upbringing to ignore the needs of older people. I see an old woman with a cane trying to board a bus, I want to back up, give her space to do so, and help if she needs it. The five-inch space I let form between the old woman and myself however, instead invites 6 other people to crowd her and then, obviously, push through to board the bus infront of me and the little old lady. Last Friday, I also watched a man that could barely walk, have to stand on a bus for a good 20 minutes because the able-bodied 30-40 year old men and women needed to sit EVEN after he asked one for her seat. She denied him... as in, "Hmmm.. maybe you shouldn't be so old."
The exception to my observations in Chile is the politeness of teenagers. (Yet another red flag that we are no longer in America). Kids say thanks to the bus drivers, give up their seats for just about anyone, greet every adult when they come in a room--- it is incredible. I just can't figure out what happens after then age of 16.
I am trying to blend in. That is the point of traveling and living abroad, learning about differences in culture and the way they live their lives. I know I will pick up WAY more positive than negative things from the people of this great country, but as far as my manners go--- I think I'll try not to lose my kind regard for strangers and just continue to smile, say thanks, hold doors and avoid pummeling old people.
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